Have you wondered why it’s acceptable for some mothers to have an alcoholic beverage to relax but it is not perceived as okay for other mothers to smoke a bowl to relax? As the Cannabis industry evolves, this is a rising question many women have been asking themselves. My name is Sabrina, and I’m a 27 year-old, Modern Stay at Home Mom and I use Cannabis on a daily basis to keep up with my daily responsibilities as a homemaker, to treat my anxiety and depression, to be a better mother, to be a better lover, and, most importantly, to be the best version of myself.
On a typical day, I’ll go to the gym, then home to jump in the shower and dress in comfy clothes because I am my own boss; I don’t go anywhere. Then it’s out to the patio for the first smoke of the day; that’s right, there’s more than one! While that is happening, my son and his Father are either waking up or getting some playtime in together before he heads out to work. I come inside on my white puffy cloud to make my son breakfast and then it’s free playtime while I’m cleaning the random things my son leaves around or tidying up the kitchen. I usually join him for a bit until it’s lunch time, which is then followed by nap time.
While my son is asleep, I do all the things I can’t do when my little shadow is around; eat, make dinner, fold laundry, clean the bathrooms or mop, etc. I also partake in my 2nd smoke of the day. When my son awakes, we head out for a walk to the park for about an hour or two, then home for dinner, then bath and reading time, some more play time, one more snack with a movie, and then it’s lights out for the little one.
Once my mommy duties are complete and my son is in bed, I am finally able to enjoy the last smoke of the day while I spend time with my significant other. As you can see, I am just a regular mom doing regular mom things, except I use cannabis. Others will indulge with caffeine while I prefer THC, but to each their own. However, of course there is a stigma and critics often say, “Who let her be a mom?” I don’t smoke to get “stuck,” I smoke to calm myself down.
For someone who lives with anxiety, normal daily routines, household responsibilities and taking care of a toddler can be overwhelming. People often say, “Can’t you take meds for anxiety?” The answer is, “Yes, I can.” But what most people don’t know is that meds don’t work the same for everyone, just like cannabis doesn’t affect everyone the same way.
At the age of 14, I started taking pills for my anxiety and depression. I would take a sedative at night to put me to sleep and a pill to boost my serotonin in the morning. I felt like a robot and sometimes like a zombie. I was numb, I had no feelings, my sex drive was gone and my depression was getting worse. When I turned 20, I decided I couldn’t do it anymore. I came to terms with the fact that I live with PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression and that pills are not going to fix me. I learned to deal with it better and cannabis helps me control my emotions, it calms my nerves while still allowing me to be in the moment, especially now as a mother.
My friends always say how calm I am as a mom, how I have so much patience, and that it looks like my son and I have a lot of fun, and we do. I’m always thinking of creative activities to keep him busy and I have so much fun playing with him. Cannabis blocks out the anxiety, constant worry and overthinking, allowing me to let loose, act silly and worry about the messes later.
My son never misses out because of me using cannabis. We play, I teach him new things, I make all his meals and I have so much patience for all his little toddler shenanigans he gets into. On days I haven’t consumed, I feel irritable, I find myself constantly checking the time waiting for my significant other to get home, my anxiety is through the roof and I can’t sit still. Do I have to smoke to be a good mother? No, but I feel better and trust me, it’s better than taking pills that would drain me from any emotions and personality I have. I would not be the mother that my son loves and I would not be the woman my boyfriend fell in love with.
I have never met a man so understanding as my significant other has been. He knows I need it, he doesn’t judge me and he supports me. He is not a cannabis user, and he’s not against it, it just doesn’t work for him like it does for me. He knows it is my medicine and he doesn’t mind that it also makes me want to cuddle. After smoking, I’m more relaxed and open to touch, my head is calm and I communicate better, which leads to less arguing and more understanding. Sometimes, anxiety makes you feel as though you aren’t loved, attractive, or as if no one wants you around. When I’m on my puffy white cloud, I feel so much more confident in life.
When I was on the pills, my family said I was “cold,” I didn’t have a sense of humor, I was so serious all the time and always in a bad mood. Now they’ll say I talk a lot more, I’m willing to spend more time with them and that I’ve grown so much as a person, as a partner and especially as a mother. I’m more outgoing, I’m willing to try new things, and go to new places because I’m not constantly worried about what can go wrong or worry so much about what people think of me. I’m more talkative and open to meeting new people. I am not sharing my personal experiences to justify what I do, I am sharing because I know I’m not the only one, there are other moms out there who also use cannabis for medicinal and recreational purposes but can’t find people who relate because of the bad stereotype. I just want to do my part to end the stigma.
Sabrina Rebolledo is a mother and cannabis advocate. She currently focuses on the stigma surrounding mothers that consume cannabis. Sabrina wants to make all mothers feel welcome to make their own decisions and to ignore the social pressures that make a mother feel insecure. Foller her @WHOLETMEBEAMOM on Instagram.